the uncomfortable-ness doesn't stop. it deals in dreams and conscious conversations, in clothing chosen and outside rendezvous. in a movie someone pretty said, "we do not speak the names of the dead" and that makes sense, and it feels right.

oh so uncomfortable. shake it off. bleeeer erlack. there's nothing I could say that wouldn't sound completely ridiculous. tea tea tea, x x x, liquid thoughts. really I have only one question and then I'll be on my way.

Heavy metal
Heavy metal machine
It's elemental
To all the rust it brings
Heavy metal
Heavy metal machine
Let me die for rock n' roll
Let me die and save my soul
Let me go
Let me go
Rock n' roll
Let the world forgive the past
Let all the girls kiss the boys at last

Friends only after this, because that seems the bitchy thing to do.

well I made a new one, but I don't think I'm going to use it. I think I'm going to let everything just sit here. just like water in a pan on the stove. a boring simile accurately represents the boring feel of this website.

Black rooms are calling
To men in leather coats
White labs are cooking up the silver ghost
The glass migrates under her translucent skin
And all the spiders wonder what we've got us in

So beats the final coda
Of our vinyl storm
One more cherry cola to lift up her dead arms
A dream of soft focus sunsets filters thru the din
We are losing contact as she dials it in
She can hear glass calling
Or is it someone that looks like him
She eyes tv reflection and nods a knowing look
She says it doesn't matter
She never liked her looks
I have seen a thousand fractures
I have seen everything
Cause knowing is it's own answer
Love something in a book
There's not much left to ponder
Not much left to cook
As she counted the spiders
As they crawled up inside her
As she counted the spiders
As they crawled up inside her

Everything you touch you don't feel
Do not know what you steal
Shakes your hand
Takes your gun
Wants you out of the sun

the sacred and the profane

On the ride here I bought lemonade. It is warm here, it was 80 degrees yesterday. I could roll the window down and stick out my hand and feel the warmest of breezes. On the side of the street there were two kids holding signs asking for donations for missions. Driving around here is almost dying every second, even though you are at a standstill longer than you are in motion. I listened to them talk about consumers and I've been laughing. I missed a hockey game, but it is interestingly fortunate that this illness is a condensed version of the older. I have seen quite the largest and most beautiful modern church. I attended a party where I was witness to overly-intoxicated people whom I was annoyed by slightly. There was a little Asian boy reading a manga on the floor of the bookstore, and he looked delightfully content, and I think he went through a whole series. I was bought a lottery ticket while I was at Sonic, where I could only faintly taste the food. We sat behind QuikTrip and laughed about that which wasn't a true convience store.
This time in the mall we didn't go down any escalators. He bought a gift card and then we looked at Eskimo Joe's for a brief two minutes, because we were going to be late. When my illness let me laugh more normally again I wanted to keep laughing. Well I think we'll be visitng today, now that the need to hide is over. I saw a motorbike and it was a depiction of Grace Cathedral Hill. I have two blisters on each foot. Perhaps I am not yet used to sandal-appropriate weather.

I feel that if I never returned back to that place, that if I just started a new sort of way here, that I would be content. But perhaps anywhere I would feel such a thing. If such a story were given life, I would remember everything before that like a dream, and smile softly when I would occasionally remember a fragment as if it came on the most delicate of winds.

+

Later this day we went to the Riverwalk, or so it's called, a nice place but rather oddly put. It was exceptionally windy and it was 88 degrees. We sat next to the bar and the chips flew away and he leaned back and said, "I don't know what to do." I leaned over the railing and the water looked like something from a dream. He said that the river was a metaphor for the city; all dried up. And that the only wildlife were statues, and this was sad. They don't think so highly of this city, but I don't tend to be negative. Because it's pointless. Well unfortunately I must leave tomorrow, but it was quite nice, I must say. The wind is so lovely here.

At the elegant dinner tonight I told you all farewell, that I was leaving, that I couldn't be with you now because I was being called by a suitor. From each side of the table you looked on, and I smiled at the lovely wine glasses, white lace-like tablecloth, and sophisticated red candles. But you see, this is an odd daydream. Not only is the suitor a lie, but I wish to stay with these people. They hold an attractive-ness that I can not identify, nor describe with any common adjectives.

Perhaps this is just a reflection of Random strong feelings towards what I consider my friends. As in, I wish to hold all of them, maybe because they are so perfect and friend-like and there. They're simplicity and complex-ness. I adore them because they are.

Seeing small things that disappoint make me sigh dreadfully. Ohh the tales, the tales.

tal vez otro día

Things I have loved I'm allowed to keep
I'll never know if I go to sleep

ring 2 = not the least bit frightening

chanel's fall line is quite simply divine. it is my desire to own every article of clothing in that collection. models are so ideal.

there is something ewiadnfdsqlidfskdfl about the current mood. sleep brings peace, but everything is. hmm I want to say everything while lying in a bed with you, because then it would just make so much more sense. and 0000 is shameless

but I could always write a poem,
"Of what?"
grass and leaves and you know, the nature things
"Whatever for?"
you didn't let me finish
"Oh, yes, sorry. Go on."
grass and leaves and you know, the nature things. then the machines, and the scent of hands
"That sounds quite swell."
I think so too

Carribahi, we sold water called ?

well I'd hate to discuss personal things, but, my my my I do like Health class. it could possibly be my favourite, because, well, it's people trying to tell you the key to happiness. so I listen intently. I don't know what percent happy I am because I can't add fractions in under a minute. oh well, you know, that's what an abacus is for. quick counting. on my list of life yet-to-be-achievements, building my own abacus has been swiftly written down. I was watching the news during the Olympics and they talked about how Venice was in need of apprentice gondola builders. I'm going to look into that. you know, the title of 'apprentice' is so fetching.

oh and this morning I remembered 5th grade when we would paint our faces with glitter. at least nicole and I did. I still have little jars of glitter in my bathroom, but, according to seventeen magazine, glitter is 'girly'. erlack. yes, the highlight of my youngness was most definitely Hank. oh and I've noticed nobody else but me knows how to spell 'definitely' on livejournal. it is not 'definately' it is 'definitely', like 'definite' with 'ly'.

Definitely Not the Opera (DNTO) is a magazine-style radio programme focusing on aspects of pop culture. The program is broadcast on CBC Radio One on Saturday afternoons, 1pm-5pm (Eastern time).

did anybody happen to look at the sky this morning? it was like toliet paper. you know, that kind of design.

a very complex word is the word rhyme! honestly who really knows how to spell it! like rhythm, too, never does it indeed look right! arrgh malarkey! bleech meat cleaver! tell me sir what are the temperatures!

It's the same old routine when it comes to reflecting on rather 'embarrassing' moments. You cling on to yourself and run around and jump and rip your hair out as if in an attempt to brush off the moment itself. You can't really sit still and laugh about something you did. There needs to be some sort of movement. Well I'm just saying this because it happened again to me today. I was trying to nap and I just started thinking about all of these odd moments and I rolled around and hysterically laughed into my blanket and pillow and yanked at my hair and kicked my legs and really in the end I never got to sleep. erlack

I just want to keep watching the movie Fulltime Killer over and over again

Prince is soooo goooood. Like Amerika.

I was walking down the white corridor and I had my brown jacket to my face, and I inhaled and it smelled like beaches because it smelled of sunblock. The smell that is on your hands after you've rubbed the substance all over. And we were looking at children names, because she was with child, and it's so odd and alien to have a baby inside of you, it's this human that just bursts out and it reminds me of the Alien movies. My cat is so terribly insignificant, it is just sitting there and moving to anouther place to sit and then finally jumping on the wood hole in the wall to observe from a higher position because it is wonderfully talented and undeniably clever. Whenever somebody mentions Lysander I remember myself as Demetrius, but that doesn't matter. Walking home today was quite fetching, I must say. The sound of a new house being built is oddly enough romantic in the earth-way. And then hearing the wind whisper, which I have of late, is quite interesting. In the book when they describe the wind as 'passionless' I exclaimed (in my mind), because of course that is simply the truth.

and in interest, I did a google definition of 'exclaim' and it says

• proclaim: state or announce; "`I am not a Communist,' he exclaimed"; "The King will proclaim an amnesty"

our hands met through the bars. this makes me wish to play such a thing on a guitar, where the handship is lovely and foreign, and the pianoforte is just as delicate. dolls play the pianoforte.

I have been offended

Mr. Postman, do you have a letter for me?

so how are all of you. I feel like bowing, but I daydreamed last night that I bowed to a scene that was abrasive. I like when nobody else seems to be online, because then I feel that if I drank coffee, I could drink it in comfort and peace. If I wanted to, I could wrap a green shawl around myself and wear glasses. Computers are such beautiful things, really, if you just stare at all the flashing ads and the effortless communication, it could appear that we're heading ever closer to our fate. "Why, of course we are." Nobody I know owns a convertible, but I do remember the time when I did. I drove with my uncle in this really old...convertible. Apparently it was a 'classic' or something of that nature. Now it is in parts in their garage.

I need to find a field. A field that includes flowers, and is surrounded by mountains and trees. A generic field, possibly.

laughing, we give up on technology